You have been in that relationship
with him for over a year now and you have been giving him your time and
investing your best in the relationship hoping that he would take you seriously
and consider building a future with you; but he’s always coming up with excuses
why you guys shouldn’t rush up things and you’re beginning to wonder if you
have any future with him.
You’ve even assessed yourself severally to see what you might have been doing wrong that is preventing him from giving you his full commitment; but you don’t seem to find anything wrong. What is now holding him back from taking the relationship to the next level? You asked in confusion.
You’ve even assessed yourself severally to see what you might have been doing wrong that is preventing him from giving you his full commitment; but you don’t seem to find anything wrong. What is now holding him back from taking the relationship to the next level? You asked in confusion.
Most ladies fail to realize that, certain
actions they display before a man they claim to love might actually make him
relax and relent from taking the relationship to the next level. Yes, some of
those actions might seem normal and harmless to the relationship but they might
actually be what’s preventing him from giving you his full commitment.
Unless you’re not one of those
ladies that have marriage as a major reason for being in a relationship, then
you should have nothing to worry about. When you’re with someone that professes
love to you and he doesn’t want to take the relationship seriously by
committing to you in marriage after some time together, you should begin to ask
some questions in order to know where you stand in that relationship with him.
Below are some few tips of what might actually be preventing him from taking
your relationship to the next level.
- You are already giving him the benefits of marriage:
“Why should the milk be bought when
the cow can be gotten for free?” there are things that only those in a
committed relationship of marriage are supposed to be enjoying. But when you’re
giving him those things willingly, why should you expect him to commit to you
in marriage when he’s already getting the benefits of marriage for free?
You act as his cook, do his laundry,
keep his home clean and satisfy his sexual desires and in some cases even live
with him in the same apartment and you expect him to take you to the alter when
he’s already reaping the benefits of those that had taken someone to the altar.
Wake up from your dream girl! He just doesn’t see any reason why he should do
that.
Men hardly do things they don’t have
a good reason for or a strong need for. You don’t give him enough reason to
want to commit to you and take your relationship to the next level when you are
constantly giving him the benefits that is supposed to be reserved for marriage.
There’s actually nothing wrong in going to your lover’s house once in a while
to help out. But if you’ve been doing that and he has not shown any sign of
taking the relationship to the next level, then you need to move on with your
life because he might be one of those that want to reap the benefits of
marriage without committing to it.
Note that, when a man that is not
married to you is already enjoying the benefits of marriage from you, he would
see no need to want to commit to you in marriage. You have to make him see the
need to prove to you that he’s worth every love and care you’re showering on
him and even much more by having the confidence to take your relationship to
the next level without any form of pressure from your side. Understand that if
he can’t be bold enough to commit to you and the relationship, then he doesn’t
deserve to enjoy the benefits only the married are supposed to enjoy.
- He is not yet ready for marriage:
Most ladies think that; when a man
has a good job and a comfortable place to lay his head, then he must be ready
for marriage. Nay, most men don’t think that way! Men that are ready for
marriage just look for someone that they’re comfortable with and can tolerate
their excesses and settle down with. They don’t go jumping from one lady to
another like a confused teenager that’s still trying to discover himself. They
know what they want and they go for it when they see it.
One of the worst mistakes one can
make as a single lady that is ready for marriage is to hook up with a man that
is not ready for marriage. You keep thinking and hoping that he would take you
seriously but to him you’re nothing than a conquest. No matter how sophisticated,
decent or respectful a lady might be, to a man that isn’t ready for marriage
she’s just another conquest to satisfy his immediate desire. That’s why it’s advised
that ladies watch the kind of men they open their hearts to because, most of
the time it becomes difficult for them to get out of such relationships because
she would think that she has a lot to lose. Even when he doesn’t take her
seriously she would still hang on hoping that she could make him change.
One of the ways of knowing men that
are not ready for marriage is that they try to avoid any conversation about
marriage or they feel very uncomfortable talking about any issue relating to
commitment and marriage. If he can’t define his relationship with you and give
you a clear direction of where it is heading to, then he is not ready yet for
marital commitment. Don’t continue wasting your time with him.
- He doesn’t consider you as the right one for him:
You’ve been with him for over a year
and he has never shown any form of desire of wanting to take you to the alter
and you’re still there hoping that he would. You need to wake up from your wishful
thinking and start assessing your relationship so that you can face the
reality. When a man meets a lady that he thinks is the right one for him, he
doesn’t waste any time before committing to her in marriage because he would be
scared that some other smart dude might also discover the great qualities that
he had seen in her and try to steal her away from him.
Don’t keep falling for that sweet
talk of needing more time or wanting to get to the next level in his career
before tying the knot with you. Such statements only meant one thing, and that
is “he doesn’t think that you are the right one for him.” So he would keep
giving you various excuses until you get fed up and leave on your own accord.
But the sad truth is that, most ladies would hardly let him be. They would keep
hoping that they could make him change his mind until they discover that he is
already seeing someone else behind them.
Don’t let any man fool you with
promises or excuses. Six month is very much enough time for any man that is
ready for marriage to know if you’re the one for him or not. If after six
months he hasn’t said anything relating to committing to you or he always tries
to avoid discussing marriage talk or he fails to define the direction of the
relationship, then he doesn’t consider you as the right one for him. Let him be
and wait for someone that would take you seriously.
Commitment in relationship should
not be something that should be forced from someone because relationship is
about building a life together. Anyone going into a love relationship should
know what he/she wants from it and where he/she wants it to lead to. If you observe that where you want your
relationship to lead to is not same as where he wants his to lead to, you
should let him be because you can hardly make him face the direction of where
you want yours to lead to.
Don’t waste your time on someone
that only sees relationship as a game, because that is what it’s going to be to
him until he’s ready to get serious with his life. Marriage needs serious
commitment and for it to be a success, it must come willingly from the hearts
of those going into it.
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